Why last year didn’t fly by


You know that feeling when you wake up and suddenly realize it’s Christmas again? You wonder where on earth the last 11 months went. People love to say, “Time flies as you get older.”

I used to believe that. Now, I’m pretty sure that’s just a lie we tell ourselves.

I just wrapped up 2025. For the first time in my adult life, the year didn’t fly by. It didn’t drag on forever, either. It just felt… accurate. It had the exact duration it was supposed to have. No more, no less.

I’ve been trying to figure out why this happened, and I think I’ve got it.

The “Waiting Room” Trap

As I mentioned in the last issue, I spent the end of 2024 resetting after a serious burnout. That set the stage for how I approached 2025.

For the entire year, I had no job. I lived off my savings (I’m lucky to have a runway that allows this). I had no boss, no Monday morning meetings, and no quarterly goals.

But here is the thing: in February, I actually started working again. I decided to write a book. I started posting more on social media. But I didn’t tell anyone about the book. I didn’t set a release date. If I woke up and didn’t feel like writing, I didn’t write.

I completely detached my daily effort from the future result.

Most of us live our lives obsessing over the future. We treat the present moment like a waiting room: just annoying time we have to kill before we get to where we want to be (the promotion, the exit, the weekend). When you live like that, your brain skips the details. You go on autopilot.

That’s why the year disappears. You weren’t really there for it. You were mentally living in next month.

Last year, I stopped trying to optimize for tomorrow. I just lived in “today.”

If I wanted to cook, I took three hours to cook. If I wanted to play with my daughter, I wasn’t secretly checking my emails. I wasn’t just “taking a break”; I was actually in the moment.

I realized that a massive chunk of our time perception problem is self-imposed pressure. We act like we’re carrying the weight of the world, rushing around to perform perfectly, but usually, nobody is even asking us to do it.

Sure, some people are rushing because they have to. They need to pay bills and feed their kids. That’s real pressure. But I’m pretty sure many of us are just inventing stress because we think we’re supposed to be busy.

I know not everyone can just quit their job and live off savings. I get that. But you don’t need a year off to fix this.

The “time flies” feeling happens when you stare too hard at the finish line. It turns your life into a blur. If you want to slow time down, you have to stop treating your life as something you need to get through to get to the “good part.”

You have to find a way to enjoy the process: the cooking, the working, the walking. Regardless of where it gets you.

Last year felt long because I actually lived it. I recommend you try it.

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Fran Méndez

Hey hey! I'm Fran, the creator of the AsyncAPI specification (the industry standard for defining asynchronous APIs). Subscribe to my newsletter —The Weekly Shift— where I share expert advice about building Event-Driven Architecture and share my journey writing my first book, Shift: The Playbook for Event-Driven Architecture Advocacy.

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